“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us,” says Oscar Wilde. And in this diary are some experiences that still bother us. So, you’re probably asking yourself, how can you let go of things that bother you?
Relax, don’t think yourself out. Because in this post, you’ll learn how to stop letting anything or someone bother you. But before that, read the short story about Mary below:
Learn from Her Story How to let go of things that bother you
Mary is a 32 years old lady who lives in Texas, USA. She seemed to have gone through a lot as a single mother, from the psychological effects of false accusations to dealing with a bullying boss at work.
As a young teenager, Mary had always been ambitious. She had always wanted to be her best in life. And everything appeared to be going on well for her until her dad kicked the bucket in high school.
Mary almost went berserk as a result of that incident. The news was shocking and too hard to bear. She was only 16 and was about to write her final exams in high school.
But through the help of excellent counselors in our school and support from family members, she weathered the situation. She got exposed to some excellent tips for letting go of what bothered her, such as practicing mindfulness, self-care, and owning a high-powered mantra.
And each time she woke in the morning, she would say to herself:
“I know I’ve been through a lot, but I’m grateful for life. I won’t let anything or anyone stop me from my goal.”
Interestingly that has been a consistent reality in the past six (6) months after she decided to leave her job. Since then, she has been enjoying a freelance career as a writer. On top of that, she has never been so close to her four (4) years old son, Nick.
You can imagine the bond between a single mother and her only child.
Now, it’s time to read,
10 Tips to Let go of things that bother you
Pen down your frustration
It’s true things will happen that may provoke your anger or get you worried. But to be able to let go of disturbing situations, you must be able to identify the root cause(s). So you can start with the question: What’s that one thing or cluster of things making you feel bothered or worried?
Is it your personal finance, health condition, or that of a family member or close friend? Is it pressure at work, the delayed promotion, or an argument with a friend in your neighborhood?
Taking note of your feelings and things bothering you on paper or in a journal may not be much effort. But it is such a step to take charge of your emotion and kill the grip of whatever is disturbing your mind. That’s because it’s a subtle way to empty them of your mind.
2. Never suppress your emotions
This is somewhat related to the first point. We live in a world where suppressing emotions can sometimes be considered a strength. And when one expresses one’s emotion unreservedly, it may be seen as an ugly weakness.
But that’s not the case. Expressing your emotions only tells us we are humans, not robots, as many try to be. “To deny the cry in my soul is to deny the beating in my heart,” says Nikki Rosen.
In Nikki’s words, you don’t have to cage your emotions to feel good or because of fear of embarrassment or being misunderstood. If a friend did some awful stuff that got you angry, keeping that emotion to yourself and allowing it to bother you isn’t good enough for your mental health.
So you communicate the matter to your friend directly or someone you think could help to ease the situation. That way, you can free up your mind while you manage anger tendencies.
3. Don’t unchangeable things bother you?
Often many people get troubled by things they can’t control. And that’s also true for our past. You’ll agree you can’t undo or change your past, but you can change your today– and of course, your future.
But that starts with your thoughts.
So will you let what has happened to you keep bothering you? Or are you going to choose a positive response to what has happened?
The author of the book, The Light in the Heart, Roy T. Bennett, quoted: “If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”
That takes us to the next point.
4. Practice mindfulness
While it is not good to carry garbage from our past into our present, overthinking about the future can leave you with many things.
Now, you may want to ask, does that suggest that we don’t plan for our future as humans?
The answer is a big NO! It’s good to be futuristic in your thinking. Of course, it is pretty cool to envision the type of life you would like to live 5 or 10 years from now. As well as the type of spouse you’d want to spend the rest of your life with– that’s if marriage is something that goes well with you.
But the practical blunder many commits is leaving the present to live in the future. This can be a terrible situation that most likely will give room to anxiety and depression and other antisocial behaviors.
That’s the reason you should embrace mindfulness. It helps you live in the moment.
5. Distance Yourself from the annoying situation
The last thing you get irritated or annoyed by someone’s behavior in a particular scene: how did you react to it?
Did you excuse yourself from that irritating atmosphere? You’ll agree the more you stay in that environment, the more you get disturbed. But if you get out of that situation and probably start listening to your favorite song, chances are that your mood and emotion will switch into a positive one.
While this is a strategy to let go of things that bother you, it is one of the creative ways to deal with anger.
6. Don’t let negative people bother you
“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people,” says American Preacher and author Joel Osteen.
That’s because negativity may get rubbed on you. So be careful who you spend a buck of your time with when trying to socialize.
A negative person will only compound what is bothering you, even without sharing with them. Their presence alone is emotionally draining.
So, you see why to do your best to stay off negative people and toxic relationships.
7. Forgive yourself
Other people may forgive you for your mistakes, but if you don’t forgive yourself, their forgiveness doesn’t count.
Remember the last time you blew an opportunity? Perhaps, it’s an opportunity to land your first job, woo your dream girl in your expedition, or make your first $1000.
You’ll agree situations like that can bother anyone. In any case, you must forgive yourself. Accept your mistakes and leave beyond them.
8. Engage in self-care
Life can get preoccupied with stressful situations, some at work and others at home. Either way, you must learn to practice self-care. It’s good for your mental health. But it’s an effective strategy to manage stress at work and in your personal life.
9. Be empathetic
While self-care is good, being empathetic will help you stop little things from bothering you. When you’re empathic in your communication and interpersonal relationships, it enables you to put things into perspective.
And that way, you’ll be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes. In other words, empathy helps to reflect on people’s actions as you try to find logical explanations for why they behaved the way they did or said what they said.
10. Stay grateful
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. “said Melody Beattie, American Self-help author.
I couldn’t agree more with Beattie. Because when you live a life of gratitude, nothing seems able to steal your joy. In other words, things will hardly bother you when you’re grateful.
That’s because you’re content with your life. You’re not comparing yourself with anyone, whether online or offline.
Bonus Tip: How to let go of things that bother you
Seek professional help
Many people think getting professional help to overcome a mental condition may involve a series of therapeutic procedures. While that may appear true, getting a professional to help you free your mind off things that bother you could be one of the best decisions you could ever take.
How to let things go that bother you at work
Humanly speaking, there are a lot of things that can get you bothered in your workplace. From having to deal with work stress; meeting daily targets to dealing with a mean or bullying boss. Or, as the case may be.
While all those may be typical with your job, you can develop the emotional maturity not to let anything bother you.
That may sound somewhat difficult, but it is achievable when you start by admitting that some things are out of control. So reconfiguring your thoughts, practicing daily journaling, mindful exercise, and practicing gratitude are great ways for things to not bother you or get to you.
How not to let things bother you in a relationship
There are a lot of things that you may have to put up with without experiencing burnout. But what happens if a particular situation in your relationship bothers you a lot?
In such a case, you need to reflect and try figuring out why you’re bothered by that situation in the first place. Ask yourself if it is something you put up with in the long run without worrying.
However, upon discovering the root of your being bothered, you can constructively express your frustration in your relationship. You can do that keeping your boundaries in mind.