things to tell yourself to boost self-esteem
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Ways to Build Self-esteem Without Killing Yourself

Do you feel loved? Or do you think you don’t deserve the love of others? Looking for ways to build your self-esteem?

At some point in our lives, we all feel down, with a corresponding downward slope in confidence level. While that may appear abnormal to many, it is a normal experience of life. As there are ups and downs in life.

In this article, we’ll explore the following:

  • What is Self-esteem?
  • What Causes low Self-esteem?
  • Impact of low self-esteem
  • Signs of low self-esteem
  • Ways to Build Self-esteem


What is Self-esteem?

Self-esteem is what a person thinks of himself. In essence, it is how you view yourself. That’s how you feel about your abilities, attributes, strengths, and weaknesses.

Your self-esteem influences your motivation, success, and mental health. That explains why people with low self-esteem are prone to depression and have the tendency to become underachievers.

Self-esteem is a psychological construct that can serve as a predictive factor of how well a person will do in various aspects of their lives.

An individual’s self-esteem is either positive or negative. The positive is usually referred to as healthy or good self-esteem. While the negative is often regarded as low or poor self-esteem.

If you have healthy self-esteem people will know. Because it shows in how you treat and carry yourself, as you’ll like yourself and value your achievement.

But quite frankly, low self-esteem is a frequent feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. And that’s what people with low self-esteem feel most of the time– and is an abnormal situation for anyone.


What Causes Low Self-esteem?

There are a couple of factors that result in low self-esteem in people. But you can trace low-esteem to the childhood or early teenage life of individuals. That’s because those are the formative phases of one’s personality. And self-esteem is a strong component of one’s personality.

Yet, the major underlying causes of low self-esteem include terrible parenting and the environment in which one grew up.

Oftentimes, low self-esteem is a result of emotional abuse or depravity. For instance, a child who never received adequate love from his parents is more likely to grow up with low self-esteem. Compared to a child who got lots of love from her parents.

Thus, some possible things that could cause low self-esteem in a person are:

  • Constant criticism from parents, teachers, and adults who should serve as their role models in love.
  • Bullying from older people or stronger peers
  • Serious medical and health challenges
  • Eventualities such as accidents leading to the loss or malfunctioning of the body or the death of a loved one at a young age.
  • Emotional trauma from incidents like rape, or any other molestations
  • Misgivings from social media


Impact of Low Self-esteem

People with low self-esteem always see themselves as not good enough. And for that reason, they go through life without living out their full potential. That’s because the way you view yourself can affect the way you approach life and the level of motivation you apply in pursuing your life goals.

For instance, a student with unhealthy self-esteem will find it difficult to relate with other of his mates at school. And also, it will be difficult to air his opinion in the classroom. Neither would he be able to take part in a debate.

Also, one of the impacts of low self-esteem is that it makes one less willing to try out new things or take risks. And sadly, this can lead to what many call mediocrity.

All of those are the reverse of the experience of an individual with good self-esteem. That’s because they value and appreciate themselves and do not derive their sense of worth from the validations of people.

In other words, when you have healthy self-esteem, you live a more purposeful life. You have a strong sense of self-concept, and you don’t derive your sense of worth from validation from others.


Signs of Low Self-esteem

Spotting a fellow who does not have healthy self-esteem is not rocket science. You will always see the behavioral signs. And they always show in their attitude towards life and how they treat themselves. And of course, from their interpersonal relationship with others.

Thus, the following are low self-esteem symptoms:


15 Shocking Symptoms of Low Self-esteem

  1. Talking yourself down
  2. Finding it difficult to accept compliments
  3. Unwillingness to take up challenges, risks, or responsibilities
  4. With ease, you get upset because of criticism or rejection from others.
  5. Frequent feelings of anxiety and depression
  6. Always thinking that others are far better than you
  7. Lacking gratitude and always nagging almost about everything in your life
  8. Resorting to the usage of drugs
  9. Negligence to your health and wellbeing
  10. Swift to blame others when things go against plans
  11. Feeling undeserving of help, and thus find it difficult to speak out to ask for help
  12. Trying so hard to please others
  13. With no sweat, people influence you
  14. Deep down, you’re seeking people’s approval and scared of rejection
  15. Display hostility and aggressiveness by being reactive or defensive when others want to correct you.


7 Ways to Build Self-esteem Effortlessly

1.      Self-Acceptance

The first step to building your self-esteem is to first accept yourself and your uniqueness. Nobody in the world is like you. So, in accepting yourself, you need to be grateful for your body physique, the color of your skin, eyes, and hair.

It also means appreciating the tone of your voice, the family, state, or country you were born in. Amongst other things. Self-acceptance will kill your starvation for attention and validation from others.

2.      Don’t be a Perfectionist

Quit trying to be perfect. While this may sound extreme a bit, it is the subtle reason many got themselves into the cage of low self-esteem. In the sense that they don’t want to make mistakes, and therefore are over conscious of themselves.

But little do they realize, that one tends to make more mistakes if she tries so hard not to.

3.      Befriend helpers

Everybody wants helpers in their lives. But only a few appreciate the fact that they are fine in the world. The world is full of naysayers and negative people. But if you want to build your self-esteem, you should start mingling and spending more time with the right people.

Yes, people who would bring out the best in you, and not run you down.

4.      Take charge of your thinking

One of the ways to build your self-esteem is to be in control of your thinking. And taking charging of thought involves first knowing that there are things you can change and there are those you can’t.

For many persons, the cause of their low self-esteem is childhood or teenage emotional abuse. And they find it hard to leave their past. But to boost your self-esteem and confidence level as a person, you must focus your thought and energy on things you have control over.  And not on things you can’t change.

5.      Make your mistakes teachers

Making your mistakes your teachers are simply learning to live above your mistakes. And you can do that by not allowing your mistakes to keep you down. First, you must realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. But learning from them is more crucial to your self-esteem in the long run in a positive way.

6.      Learn to love yourself

You must have heard the saying, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” Thus, loving yourself is a practical way to build your self-esteem. After all, in reality, you can’t love anybody (not even your neighbor) better than you love yourself. Therefore, you must learn to love and value yourself before you’ll be able to effectively dispense love to others.

7.      Increase the time you spend doing what your love

This one sound so simple to observe. But then, it has a profound effect on your confidence and sense of worth. In simple terms, do what your love. It could mean taking yourself out to give yourself a treat or visiting a pool to flex your swimming muscles. That’s if you can swim. But if you can’t, you just have to find that thing(s) you love to do and start doing it every day.



Indeed, you cannot overstress the way your self-esteem can influence the attainment of your life goals. As well as your relationship with others. But, you should know that you can always turn things around if you display some of the low self-esteem symptoms mentioned above.  By applying the tips outlined in the article, and the end, changing your thought patterns.



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    1. I couldn’t agree more with you… Thank you for your comment and engagement, Mr. Anthony.

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